Welcome to the Snowpocalypse

As Captain Obvious would point out, Kansas has been hit by a blizzard, the likes of which have not been seen since 1982.

I would know. I had to dig myself out of it this morning.

And while I very much enjoyed watching it poop snow all evening; and while, with slightly perverse humor, I admit I kinda enjoy watching people getting stuck attempting to enter my street, I have realized that, dammit, I'm stranded, too. I literally cannot leave my block. Consequently, I have not left the vicinity of my house in two days.

I would like to think that i am immune to cabin fever. After all, I am happily enjoying my snow days and have been amazingly productive.

But now I'm starting to notice things.

I caught myself wearing a pair of red faux-bans in the house. A strange dog was running around in the backyard, but then he suddenly disappeared. Now I find myself writing a story about a magical, hibernating, banana-eating panda, cast out of his judgemental panda community for his strange ways.

It is an epic, tragically comic tale.

Needless to say, I have never been more ready for spring.

Punxsutawney Phil--you better not deceive me, you little fart.

-Kiernan

...And the Battle Begun.

Beginnings are one of the most difficult things to start with.

To be honest, the whole reason I've delayed writing my own blog is simply because I didn't know how to begin it. But, lo and behold, here I am. I bit the proverbial bullet of my own procrastination and am now dragging you all in with me. It can only get better from here. 

Truly, it all began with a splat. 

And let me tell you, it was a magnificent splat, indeed. 

I was hungry (as I often am) and it was lunchtime. I am not ashamed to admit that like some strange gastronomical solar system, most of my day revolves around food and when I am going to eat it. True to form, I had been looking forward to my lunch of leftover roast beef and potatoes all morning and by 11:30 am--BAM! that sucker was in the microwave. Suddenly, however, it all went awry.

As I was pulling my lovely roast and potatoes out of the microwave, the ziplock container suddenly wasn't in my hands anymore. 

It was one of the moments when your mind slows everything down and yet your body is still unable to react quickly enough to stop what you already know is going to happen. It was a bonafide "Aw, shee-it," moment.

SPLAT. Container burst asunder with mashed roast beef and potatoes all over the floor. My lunch. Gone. 

Normally, I would have gone all Hulk-Smash on that container's ass, but there were people around. Plus,   I realized that, of course, only I would manage to ruin my own lunch in such a dramatic fashion. The delicious smell of curried roast even seemed to mock me from down below on the dirty floor. Sonofahamster. 

Despite it all, and getting to the point of all this rambling, is that my clumsiest and most awkward moments seem to be my best. Like yesterday, when I bought some tea but proceeded to spray it all over myself and my car trying to open it. These sorts of things seem to happen all the time and there's nothing I can do to stop them. 

So here's what I say: I'm going to share these moments with you as often as I can in the most poetic way possible because that's who I am and that's what I do. 

Of course there will be other things, too. But for today, be content in knowing that, even though your day may not have been the greatest, at least you didn't lose your lunch to the floor.