Crafty McCraftster, Indeed.

Somewhere I read that there are two selves that rage within us--the self that one is and the self that one subconsciously longs to be. I dunno, something deeply perplexing like that. I am no philosopher/psychologist, clearly.

For lack of a better name I find myself afflicted with this ailment. I yam what I yam yet there is this other person who desperately wants to get out and claim my life. Or at least that's what I think it wants to do.

I'm sure any psychologist would pin me down and tell me to reconcile my two halves with each other. but it ain't that easy.

You see, I know my true self to be one Kiernan the Writer, the Overly Sensitive, what-have-you. Never one to be creative visually, I have always expressed my wa wa wee wa feelings via pen and paper. Because seriously, I can't do more than that. Connect-the-dots tends to be the best that I can do.

For the greater part of my life, I was fine with this. I resigned myself to the fact that creating artsy things was not my forte. Ever since I discovered craftgawker.com, however, this internal war between my two selves has only heightened.

You see the problem lies within my delusion that I think I can create visual things. Ever since I was little I wanted to alter my own clothing, sculpt little Pokemon figurines, do my own hair...you get the idea. Good clothing would be ruined. Vulpix would turn out a little lumpy. My mother would run shrieking from the room after she discovered I had cut my own bangs.

I was gifted with this misleading thought that I am crafty. And oh how I try! Despite my best intentions, normally what happens is that the tissue paper flower, which the craft blog claimed would be "super easy!" left me with a mangled mess of, well, tissue paper and shattered dreams.

For those of you who are, like me, particularly challenged when it comes to finding good blogs to read on the internet, craftgawker.com (and its conjoined twin sites weddinggawker.com and foodgawker.com) is a host site that features the most amazingly crafty things from amazingly crafty people. It's also like heroin for my deluded crafster alter-ego....who doesn't really exist.

These things are never as easy they look. Never, I say. They are lying to you.

(photo credit: a bit of sunshine)

But as it is, I have a pile of crafty things to do which are not currently getting done. And maybe, JUST MAYBE, I'll let you behold my handiwork. I have to satiate the beast somehow.

Until then, I must away to my diary.....