This is an honest-to-goodness-gracious conversation that just happened via text:
Martin: You won't believe what I just did.
Me: You deleted your site...you contracted HIV from monkeys....you figured out nuclear fission and have blasted off into space...the possibilities are endless.
Martin: I threw my phone in the trash at mcd's. And when i realized I lost it, I went back, sacked up and rifled through the trash bin.
Me: That's infinitely better than anything I could have come up with! Did you find it?
Martin: Uh...how else would I be talking to you?
Me: Point made.
Holy Saint Jeebus, I question my sanity and that of my future children. I seriously wonder how I make it through my day to day life sometimes.